The Worst Gigs Ever Part 4

Any High School Assembly.

   Somewhere in Hell an idle demon dreams up things like having “pro” musicians at a High School assembly. If you didn’t go to High School then you missed society’s lowest point- herding everyone into the auditorium for a lecture or (worse) what adults consider enlightening. Believe me, in this atmosphere you do not want to be either an adult or enlightening.

I think before I was 30 I played at probably 6 of these deathwalks and never with the same kind of ensemble (rock, jug band, bluegrass, 20’s jazz, etc) but always the same response. It sure wasn’t the response Johnny Cash got at Folsom although it was pretty clear that prisoners were the audience being played to. As always is the case on these occasions jeering and trash talk are much more acceptable than the launched projectile, and of course any time the school authority figure speaks up to calm the din consecutive launches erupt. For the kids who don’t like football this was the one positive unifying action that they could participate in – BOOOOOOO!!!! YEWWW SUKKKK!!!

    Jerry Waller tells the story of the Principal who, as he hurries the band out of the building ducking flying debris tells them “They seem to really like you” confirming what you always thought about the head stiff at your teenage lockdown. No hostile reception in a bar or a nightclub can match it in real hatred because the audience hates both you and being there.